It’s Christmas Eve, and I’ve been contemplating a few holiday wishes that, if granted, would make a cruiser’s life a whole lot easier. Some of these wishes are within reason, others are probably wishful thinking, and some are just silly. But this is a magical season, readers, so let’s put our collective thoughts together, and maybe we can work a miracle or two.

Here are 25 things I wish for you in the year to come.

May your embarkations be swift and efficient.

May you find extra chocolates on your pillow.

May the hurricane head elsewhere and your seas be smooth as glass.

May you be upgraded to a suite.

May your porthole never fog over.

May you never be caught in the act by the ship’s window washer.

May all your two-for-one deals come true.

May you never cross paths with a norovirus.

May your children enjoy the playroom while you enjoy a massage in the spa.

May you hit the jackpot in the ship’s casino.

May you be dragged up on stage by Carnival Cruise Director John Heald and instantly become the ship’s star.

May the lines to the tourist attractions be short.

May giant squids stay clear of the propeller.

May all your buffets include lobster and prime rib.

May your stateroom bathroom have a robust flush and smell not like the septic tank.

May your husband not win the hairy-chest contest.

May your wife not win the belly-flop contest.

May all your fellow cruisers be courteous, friendly, witty and kind.

May your contract of carriage not read like the “DaVinci Code.”

May your cruise line clearly state what’s in those mysterious “port fees.”

May your showers offer warm water.

May none of your jewelry purchases be tarnished.

May the drunken passengers remember to show up for customs clearance.

May all of your luggage appear on the carousel.

May you return home having no more than five pounds to lose.

I wish all Tripso readers Happy Holidays, a joyous New Year, fun on the high seas and — most importantly — peace on Earth.

Sound off! Do you have a comment, an idea, a complaint or a problem for Anita to solve? Send her an e-mail and you might find yourself in her next column.