Where’s the kid Repellent?


On a recent flight, I found myself paging through a SkyMall catalog. SkyMall is testament to simple consumerism—so many impractical products, all available for purchase in one place. Anyway, I noted that many of the weird gadgets offered for sale were combinations of otherwise useful products.

Among the contraptions were:
– Alarm clock and telephone
– Ballpoint pen and camera
– Ballpoint pen and radio
– Clock and thermometer
– Binoculars and camera
– Massager and lotion dispenser
– An easy chair and foot massager
– Fan and ionizer
– Hot dog cooker and bun warmer
– Baby stroller and car/plane booster seat
– Scale and body fat analyzer
– Aquarium and coffee table
– Shower radio and mirror
– Broom and power washer
– Radio and TV and lamp and spotlight and siren and flasher and clock and thermometer and compass and mosquito repeller

These are all quite interesting, but do travelers really buy these things? (I suppose some must. Otherwise SkyMall would be out of business.). Many of these products captured my imagination, but none is likely to capture my money. To get me to shell out some dough for a combination product for travelers, bring the following gizmos onto the market. I’ll have my credit card number ready.

– Ear plugs and kid repellent
– Cell phone and razor
– Running shoes and flashlight
– Laptop computer and kid repellent
– Binaca® and Beano®
– Sunglasses and kid repellent
– Boarding pass and rental car key and hotel key
– Swimming pool and kid repellent
– Wing tips and swim fins
– Tennis shoes and match holder (Is this new?)
– Sunscreen and pepper spray
– Playing cards and city map
– Pocket translator and kid repellent
– Pen and toothbrush
– Smoke hood and MP3 player
– Money clip and calculator
– Deodorant and toothpaste
– Terrycloth robe and reading light
– Suitcase and kid repellent
– Overcoat and air mattress
– Reading glasses and comb
– Oh, and did I mention ear plugs and kid repellent?